New , No matter what language what you speak; Spanish , French, Nepali,Chinese, you know what new means. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines new as not old : recently born, built, or created. The Oxford online dictionary defines new as not existing before; made, introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time . That's exactly what I plan to do for 2014 , be the person that no one new exist , I won't be the old me anymore , and people are going to discover something new about me .
I hate the way I was this year so depressing and saying all these awful things about myself , never believing in anything , never wishing for anything good , staying in my comfort zone and it wasn't just this year last year too but this time I am going to do something about it . I know I've said it before , I know I've tried to before but this time I really want to try and change for the better . I'm going to try to be a better person for myself and for the people around me .
First Step is always admitting there is problem , most of the times I can say to myself Rae you need to stop hurting yourself but other times I ignore what I am doing and just kind of let it become apart of my daily routine 1.Shower 2.Comment on how awful your body is 3.Brush teeth or 1.Do history homework 2.Tell yourself your worthless 3.Make dinner ,i mean that's basically how my day goes sadly but Today; right here, I will admit I Raeven have self-confidence issue and suffer from medium-levels of depression .
Second Step is too Go Shopping , for clothes that are cute but that also keep me comfortable . Everyday I get up and I put on clothes , I really don't care how I look . My hair I brush it , that's about it , I mean I do more than that but it really just looks brushed . I don't wear make-up , at all ! Maybe once a week ,twice a month do I put an outfit together and consider it cute. I want thing to change I want to like everything I wear and stop just wearing jacket over everything even in summer , yh ! I want to feel comfortable if someone is looking at me because if I don't , I will always be tense and never accept a compliment . So once I get enough money I will go shopping .
Third Step step out my comfort zone shoot not step but fly out my comfort zone. For awhile now maybe two years I have done nothing new , I dress the same ,I eat he same foods at school , I play the same games , I talk to the same people , I do everything the same it is time for something Nuovo . It is time to take more risk not I could kill myself risk but the I could find something new I like risk .
Fourth Step is to Change my attitude towards things that hurt me . Everything time I get hurt I just use it as a reason to feel sorry myself and to create a deeper whole inside me but it is time to stop ; from now on I will use it to build myself up , to make myself stronger ! If "plan A" doesn't work who cares the alphabet has 25 more letters.
Fifth Step is to open my heart back up; see this ------>[_____] ( imagine there's a top) , it is my wall , well it is coming down not all the way but partially . I hide too much and tend to stay in corners , how I am suppose to make new friends if my wall is there . My heart well it may take time to open up due the fact it is in about a million and one pieces ( fake friendship and failed crushes ) but I want be able to trust again and believe people who say they love me . Just a bit gotta learn to stop being afraid to get hurt .
Sixth Step is to except who and what I have in my life . There are some really awesome people in my life , who keep me smiling no matter what (most times ) . I don't really want to put there names in here but they should know who they are and how much it is I LOVE THEM . Sometimes I will say I have no real friends , or no one who has always got my back but that's the biggest lie I could ever tell . There are 6 people who I would probably die for if they needed me too , I would !! Matter of fact if i sent you the link to this that probably means your one of these people . To all I promise to stop ignoring you guys and/or treating you like crap .
Seventh Step : GO back to being ME ; since my downfall I've been acting less like myself everyday whether if was trying to hard to fit in or saying something I probably really didn't mean . With the help of everything above I really think I an be me again . I have been the 'broken" one for too long now , I am gonna be a light for all to see and maybe other people can learn from me .
So That is my New Years Resolution , I know most people bullshit theirs but I am going to really try hard to do this and if you know me then work with me please or like this if you think I can if you don't know me still like , just saying ! Happy New Years To All and heres to a less shitty and Nuevo , 新 , Nouveau , नयाँ , Nuovo ,Nieuw - NEW 2014 !!!
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